Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
