If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize