Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
he was CRYING into my vagina
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
