Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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