why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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