I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
There r osticjed everywhere
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.