u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.