Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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