Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
