you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
