you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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