yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
