don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
