he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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