i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
