I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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