He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Randomize