i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
