Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Is Oprah even human
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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