thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize