I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha