Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
