Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
