Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize