i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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