mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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