Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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