doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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