Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
i need to put some appletini on your dick
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
