found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
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