so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
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