I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize