Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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