if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
