I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize