so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
its liver damage thursday
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
