with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
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Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
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tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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