I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
My feet surprised me
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
