Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
