Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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