now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
