I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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