Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
It's Friday. Sex?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
