Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?