Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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