I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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