And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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