if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
