I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
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My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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