Pregnant stripper...not hot.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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