Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
