Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
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all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
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A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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