it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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