do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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