took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
i think my cat just said my name.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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