hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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