Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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