so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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