Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
